Having a Baby Makes You Go Bald

In case you think I am talking about the metaphorical “pull your hair out” over kids, I am not.  I am talking about real, post-partum hair loss.  It’s kind of funny.  But mostly it’s not.

I’m Not Actually Going Bald…

But I am losing gobs and gobs of hair.  My luscious locks of pregnancy are long gone.  A mere 3 months ago, my hair was still so thick and shiny from all of the  residual pregnancy hormones.  When I got my hair cut about 2 months after giving birth, my stylist could not believe how much my hair had grown during pregnancy.  That all changed about a month later.  The loss started slowly.  Then all of a sudden, it seemed like a wookie had died in my shower every time I washed my hair.  My husband, who already thinks women have a mission to clog up the shower after every use, started complaining that his toes were collecting massive amounts of hair every time he walked into the bathroom where I fix my hair every morning. 

One afternoon last week, I pulled my hair into a ponytail to go running and was horrified to see that my left and right temples were thinning.  Like, obvious hair loss.  Henry confirmed that I did, indeed, have an almost bald patch, slightly bigger than a golf ball, at both temples.  He then proceeded to assure but then assured me he would love me even if I went bald.  “In fact,” he says, “there was an old guy when I was a teenager who always told me to marry a bald woman because she’s unlikely to cheat on you.” 

He thinks he’s so funny.

People tell me to look on the bright side–my hair should return to normal within 6-12 months after giving birth.  That’s a long, freakin’ time.  Here’s to hoping I’m not in a wig by then.


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